Sunday, 05 April 2009

  • Entry from the fucked up side of me

    Dear diary,

    Last night was awesome; this weekend has been awesome. I've finally managed to find a way to manipulate my own life in a greater way than I thought imaginable. Rather than try to find an escape, I've realized that I constantly try to find ways to mutilate my life—and not even for pity, just for the fun and interest of it all. I've found a way to be an observer where the footprint you leave isn't a footprint at all, and only proves to be more helpful because of the reactions it causes. In this way I can enforce isolation or let my life continue to explode like a series of fireworks, waiting for the finale that never comes. I've come to enjoy being surrounded by people just for the sheer irony of it all.

Friday, 27 February 2009

  • The Political Primate

    Have we no sanctity? It seems that the wrong ways of the past are being used to justify the wrong ways of the current. Things like human rights, compassion and the common good are becoming more or less just words instead of real things; Simple concepts or ideals represented by strings of letters, regarded as either unrealistic, improbable or a fiction so poisonous that it contaminates and possesses anyone who recognizes it as truth. While the conflict and tension between China and the United States of America has been a longstanding issue, recently the stand for tibet and human rights in China has become more political than it is sensible, and, for lack of a better word, humane.

    When China first entered tibet in 1950, many Tibetans, including His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, fled to nearby areas like Nepal and India. Those who didn't, however, were met with extreme disposition. Among the reactions, many Tibetans (especially the monks), opted for peaceful protests, where they gathered, chanting and holding up signs in support of a free Tibet. Other monks even set themselves on fire as a symbolic gesture. As is the current case, the former were detained and frequently beaten. Many accounts exist of experiences in Chinese prisons, and Tibetans are among the most shocking; if not for the treatment of the Tibetans, than for their treatment in comparison/contrast to/of their action(s).

    In March 2008, there was a significant amount of unrest in Tibet when mass riots formed and monks revolted. While there is no denying the fact that a substantial amount of damage was done, the amount of victims/casualties remains disputed, with Students for a Free Tibet claiming a great number more Tibetans were killed than China reported. The tension between the Tibetan and Chinese sides got so intense that all riots started taking place all over the world, especially in the United States. In one particular case at Duke University, a Chinese girl trying to qualm both sides wound up being rejected and insulted by both. She began to receive death threats against her and her family, and her personal information was leaked by her own country, forcing her parents to go into hiding. Thus, leading up to the olympics in Beijing, there was much activity both within Tibet and outside of it. At this time, China put more troops in Tibet to suppress any opposition at all. During the olympics, the rest of the world was offered a quick glimpse at Tibet, though instead of appeasing the curiosity and concern about the Tibetan people, it showed what force China is willing to use in order to prevent any negativity being portrayed. After the olympics, China proceeded to once again clench their fist on Tibet, sending in more troops and enforcing an even stronger crackdown. Such amount of power in quantities like this can't be good for anyone, as the people of the world would soon come to find out. In January 2009, a young man who had taken part in a peaceful protest full of banners, fliers, and slogan-shouting passed away. His death was anything but the result of natural causes. During the protest, he and his fellow protesters were detained by Chinese authorities, and it was the beatings he received from them that killed him. This is a crucial event because it makes void any attempt by China to deny its inhumane treatment of its people, particularly Tibetans.

    On February 9, 2009, the United Nations gathered to review the human rights records of countries around the world. China was among one of the most to look forward to, as it had avoided such events and criticism for a long while, using its political strength to pressure others and, ultimately, to avoid pressure themselves. In addition to China submitting an incomplete and distorted report on their human rights records, China managed to make a mockery of the review, gaining praise from countries such as Cuba, and dismissing or denying any claim about Tibet and other hot topics, claiming it was not open for discussion, let alone anyone else's business. When the UN had reached a conclusion on ways for China to improve the treatment of its people, China just shrugged them off. Soon after, China called out Australia and the United States for their human rights records, claiming they should be improved. Where does this come from? How is it that it has become possible for human rights to be made into a card in the game of political power? If China is going to deny the UN's suggestions for improvement, and ignore or not discuss the more important issues, than they are going against the greater good. If we are interested in living amongst each other in peace and functionality; if we are interested in paving a future for the youth of today, tomorrow, and the next day; if we are to aim for order and fairness, then we must come together and listen to each other. To do otherwise is, in itself, to show selfish and/or malicious intent. Furthermore, to turn around after backing away and place the same accusations on others is to commit the epitome of hypocrisy on a massive scale. The way in which China handles its power and global influence is only tactful in the way that it is unstable and ignorant.

    The same actions and reactions apply when it comes to culture and ethnic integrity. Later on in February, the Tibetan people decided that instead of celebrating Losar, the Tibetan new year, they would instead spend their time in mourning. What's interesting is that rather than be satisfied, as would be expected if one were to follow the pattern of China's objectives, China became upset. It wanted the Tibetans to celebrate to convey a positive image of Tibet's current conditions. Instead, the days of Losar were full of prayers, candle-light vigils, and messages for the Chinese to, among other things, listen to Tibetans. The fact that China enforced celebration, though, is interesting, as it follows the trend of China demolishing the culture and ethnic integrity of the Tibetan people before rebuilding or reinforcing it for exploitation and/or to improve the public image at a time of their own convenience. Another instance can be found in Paris, where ancient Chinese artifacts, the bronze heads of a rat and a rabbit, were being sold. The artifacts were looted from the imperial garden in the late 1800's. They are a significant part of Chinese cultural history, and, as such, were severely sought after by China, who made numerous attempts to stop the sale and assure the return of the artifacts. When you decimate a land along with its culture, how can you be one to demand the rightful sustainment of your own?

    What was shocking for many was Hillary Clinton's visit to China. This is a former first lady and governor, just named the Secretary of State, whom has done numerous speeches on human rights, even at China's discomfort. In addition to being in favor of awarding the Dalai Lama the congressional gold medal, she consistently stuck up for Tibet, encouraging Sino-Tibetan discussions and urging Bush to skip the opening ceremony of the olympics in Beijing. However, upon arriving in China, she discussed how she would be putting economic issues ahead of that of human rights. While on the one hand, this is understandable, considering complications with China would be inopportune while attempting to rebuild the economy of the United States, it's still a surprise to see her put such a passion and important subject aside in the name of politics.

    It seems that whenever China comes under more pressure in regards to Tibet and human rights, it closes off Tibet either partially or entirely. When this occurs, not even journalists are allowed into the region, and thus we are unable to know anything about the then current status of it, which, in addition to the fact that it was the one to close it off in the first place, makes it hard to believe China's reports and evaluations of the conditions. Getting past all of that, what even gives anyone the right to disallow others from areas of land in the first place? The belief that one has any ultimate ownership over land is preposterous to begin with, and to deny access to a certain area of land such as Tibet is to impose on the rights of everyone you exclude. This is slightly reminiscent of the way in which China bans people from returning, or even coming in the first place. Accounts of bans are ubiquitous, though as of recent, a good many of them are the result of mentioning Tibet, the Dalai Lama, and/or anything in between.

    In regards to politics, human rights don't necessarily have a place, but rather are at the basis of human existence, without which politics wouldn't even be possible. Therefore, it's intriguing to witness the world issues of today, primarily in relevance to China. It seems, though, that today, in the modern day and age, we are further growing, if not maturing as a world of nothing but politics, forgetting our human nature and that of others. We hold such high regard for ourselves, considering humans to be superior, but, and especially with the current global standpoint, one can only wonder how advanced we actually are, what advancement really means, and whether or not we're really just diving so far down into politics that we're simply digressing into a sort of "political primate".

Wednesday, 05 November 2008

Monday, 15 September 2008

  • Currently Listening
    Juno
    By Original Soundtrack
    Anyone Else But You (The Moldy Peaches Version)
    see related

    Sup people?

    Yeah sorry about not really being around Xanga much lately, crazy stuff has been happening, especially like me applying to four jobs yesterday.

    Have you ever looked at your old xanga(s)?
    I just looked at one that went back to "05 and laughed at almost every entry.

Thursday, 28 August 2008

  • "It is no accident that the photographer becomes a photographer anymore than the lion tamer becomes a lion tamer"
    --Dorothea Lange

    "It is not difficult to understand how children who have suffered from malnutrition or starvation need food and plenty of care if their bodies are to recover so they can go on to lead normal lives. If, however, the starvation is severe enough the damage will be permanent and they will suffer physical impairments for the rest of their lives. Likewise, children who are deprived of emotional nurturing require care and love if their sense of security and self-confidence is to be restored. However, if love is minimal and abuse high, the damage will be permanent and the children will suffer emotional impairments for the rest of their lives."
    --Rita Mistopolis M.D., "Black Heart, Blue Heart"

    "Later on, out in the backyard, Tom lights up a joint of marijuana. The drug clearly bothers Navidson but he says nothing. tom knows his brother disapproves but refuses to alter his behavior. Based on their body language and the way both of them avoid looking directly at each other, not to speak of the space between their words, the last eight years continues to haunt them.
    'Hey, at least I'm an acquaintance of Bill's now' Tom finally says, exhaling a thin stream of smoke. 'Not a drop of booze in over two years'
    At first glance it seems hard to believe these two men are even related let alone brothers. Tom is content if there happens to be a game on and a soft place from which to watch it. Navidson works out every day, devours volumes of esoteric criticism, and constantly attaches the world around him to one thing: photography. Tom gets by, Navidson succeeds. Tom just wants to be, Navidson must become. And yet despite such obvious differences, anyone who looks past Tom's wide grin and considers his eyes will find surprisingly deep pools of sorrow. Which is how we know they are brothers, because like Tom, Navidson's eyes share the same water."

Sunday, 24 August 2008

  • Update

    I must live a pure life now, and my crush is now going out with my friend...
    There's too much to say, too much to do, and too many times I get my hopes up.
    Thoughts leave my mind in a huge whir of emotions, rendering me dizzy and disabled.
    Perhaps my thoughts of becoming a monk are more likely than I thought, whether I wish them to be or not, though I am more fond of the odds than I show.

Monday, 14 July 2008

  • Please give me a second grace
    Please give me a second face
    I've fallen far down
    The first time around
    Now I just sit on the ground in your way

    Now if it's time to recompense for what's done
    Come, come sit down on the fence in the sun
    And the clouds will roll by
    And we'll never deny
    It's really too hard for to fly

    Please tell me your second name
    Please play me your second game
    I've fallen so far
    For the people you are
    I just need your star for a day

    So come, come ride in my street-car by the bay
    For now I must know how fine you are in your way
    And the sea sure as I
    But she won't need to cry
    For it's really too hard for to fly

Sunday, 06 July 2008

  • "I'm a deep sea diver losing air
    And around you laps I swim but you don't care"

    "Nothing ever feels the same
    Maybe you can fix that
    Nothing ever feels the same"

    "Move yourself
    You always live your life
    Never thinking of the future
    Prove yourself
    You are the move you make
    Take your chances win or loser

    See yourself
    You are the steps you take
    You and you, and that's the only way
    Shake, shake yourself
    Your every move you make
    So the story goes

    Owner of a lonely heart
    Owner of a lonely heart
    (Much better than a)
    Owner of a broken heart
    Owner of a lonely heart

    Say, you don't
    Want to chance it
    You've been hurt so before
    Watch it now
    The eagle in the sky
    How he dancin' one and only

    You, lose yourself
    No not for pity's sake
    There's no real reason to be lonely
    Be yourself
    Give your free-will a chance
    You've got to want to succeed

    Owner of a lonely heart
    Owner of a lonely heart
    (Much better than a)
    Owner of a broken heart
    Owner of a lonely heart
    Owner of a lonely heart

    After my own indecision
    They confused me so
    (Owner of a lonely heart)
    My love said never question your will at all
    In the end you've got to go
    Look before you leap
    (Owner of a lonely heart)
    And don't you hesitate at all, no no

    Owner of a lonely heart
    Owner of a lonely heart
    (Much better than a)
    Owner of a broken heart
    Owner of a lonely heart

    Owner of a lonely heart
    Owner of a lonely heart
    (Much better than a)
    Owner of a broken heart
    Owner of a lonely heart
    Owner of a lonely heart

    Sooner or later each conclusion
    Will decide the lonely heart
    (Owner of a lonely heart)
    It will excite, it will delight
    It will give a better start
    (Owner of a lonely heart)

    Don't deceive your free-will at all
    Don't deceive your free-will at all
    (Owner of a lonely heart)
    Don't deceive your free-will at all
    Just receive it"

    "Every option I have costs more than I've got. If you trust in me, if I could I would be there. All I have to give seems to be all over you and everyone else. I guess I'm guilty spreading thin with my love. If you trust in me, if I could I would be there."

    "You can't come home again
    Each time it's different
    And the yards around your feet fall away while you're asleep

    Each day, spend it with me now
    All my time, spend it with me now
    But each day spend it with you now
    All my time, spend it with you now
    But out here, no one can hear me
    Out hear no one can hear me"

    "In the wind, in the yoke, my ride will go. Central, remote, any further and I'll know. Pressing matters bear. Through trials and time, I keep my feet right in line for flight so we never recognize. Pressing matters bear, anable wear and tear on you, tear on you. Remind me. Tear on you, wear on you."

    "When I clung to you there was nothing to hold on tight with, you left me adrift."

    "It's a call
    I fell into your arms that night
    Don't ask
    It's the time we had apart to sort things out
    Just don't ask
    It's the work you say you're doing
    But baby, I don't even ask
    It's the love that came undone between us
    and nobody ever asks
    There's a place and time for everything I know
    Don't ask
    But when I'm around you still I lose control
    Just don't ask
    You suggest the struggle goes both ways
    but baby, I don't even ask
    I just wish you had a little faith
    but I'm learning not to ask"

    "I want you to know
    When I look in your eyes
    With every blow
    Comes another lie

    You think it's alright
    You think it's alright
    You think it's alright
    You think it's alright"


    Grizzly Bear defines my life.
  • And around you laps I swim but you don't care.

Saturday, 21 June 2008